One of the things we value most from our relationships is feeling emotionally connected with another person. This connection helps us feel safe and secure not just in our relationships, but in our life in general.
However, when our emotional connection to our partner is not secure, or our partner is inaccessible or unresponsive, we start to feel alone and our relationships become threatened.
According to Sue Johnson, who developed Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the basic issue in most relationship problems isn’t fighting or power struggles or lack of communication, but rather that couples have become emotionally disconnected. Johnson finds that marriages fail not due to increasing conflict, but due to decreasing affection and emotional responsiveness.